Navy Veteran Shares Experience: “Talk therapy allowed me to start feeling again.”
I identified as a gunner's mate. And so when I left that, I kind of lost my identity. I didn't know who I was.
My name is Mario. I was in the United States Navy. I was a gunner's mate, and I served between 2011 and 2015. I was young, and in fourth grade, I saw the two towers go down. The following Sunday, I was with a group of my friends, and we all promised each other that we were going to join the military. I enjoyed what I did. I got to work on weapons, so I had to actually take apart torpedoes and put them back together, and they were 100% efficient even after taking them apart, which is pretty hard to do. So I gained all this authority while serving in the military, and then you come out and no one recognizes it. I felt like I didn't matter or anything that I did previously didn't matter. I had lost my identity and self-purpose. I drank often when I was in the military, but I had battle buddies.
I had shipmates to help me. My wife actually looked at me, and she told me, "You're not leading this family where I want it or need it to go." I had to decide to go get help and see someone about how I was feeling. Official diagnosis was depression and PTSD. The first experience with treatment was talk therapy. I didn't go into detail about what happened. I was just surface-dwelling. And then, through those feelings, we began to discuss the loss. And so talk therapy allowed me to start feeling again and really just almost restarting, finding my identity. Other tools are statements of repurpose. When you have those hard days that come, being able to go, I'm here for a reason. I'm moving forward. Here are things that I've been successful at, successful in, and that allows me to address the things that I want to work on.
The process was I'm a cop. I'm supposed to be helping people, and how can I help people with having my own struggle? I got back into golf. It's my favorite activity to do. And of course, being around with my family, spending time with them. I'm a husband, I'm a dad. And finding that purpose and getting to provide them safety and security. Every moment counts, every minute that you get to be with your family and get to feel loved. Therapy has improved my relationships because it's taught me that communication is key, that I don't need to be lost or in my own head, talking to my wife, talking to my best friends, and also being there for them when they have their hard days.
So the reason I wanted to work on the mental health crisis outreach team and my experience is because people feel lost, like they've been forgotten. And so, getting to provide that opportunity to where like I'm here, I see you, and for the next moment that I'm standing here, you're all that I care about. Getting help is a way to feel free, not feel in bondage by fear, anxiety, sadness, depression, guilt. And I feel like I have true freedom now. Getting mental help and knowing that you're not the only one is what really saved me.
