“I was free falling.” Marine Veteran Describes Commitment to Recovery
Main thing I didn't have before, when I fell, and I got into drugs and alcohol is I didn't have a support system. I had no support net, I had nothing to catch me. And I was free-falling.
My name is Troy. I served in the United States Marine Corps. My MOS is 0651 and 0311. I served from February of ‘08 to February of 2013, I had a five year contract. I joined because it's family tradition. I was a fourth generation Marine. I love being a part of the 2nd Battalion, 5th Marines. Went on three deployments. ’09, I was in the Philippines for earthquake relief, in 2011 I was in Japan for tsunami relief. I was on the 31st MEU for both of those, and then 2012 I went to the southern Helmand of Afghanistan.
I never transitioned, like I just kept working, like I buried everything in work and that's where I stayed. When your branch of service is born in a bar, you're expected to drink a little bit. I could drink a handle of Jack Daniel’s and still drive home. My ex-wife, she walked off with my oldest son, and he left. And I was in a house by myself, and I just started using drugs. A ball of methamphetamines a day. Three and a half grams. I became a soulless monster. I lost my job, I then met my current wife and she had grown kids already. Treatment Court judge at the time, she said, “You have one more chance.” And that's around the time that Jennifer told me that we're going to have a girl. Little girls might end up marrying their dad because that's their male figure.
You don't get 15 felonies and you be a good person. It was rough, I had to earn the trust back of the court because of everything that I had done. Veterans Treatment Court is: They give you an option to take a plea deal. The plea deal being, ‘we're going to take these down to this.’ So if you go to jail, I was going to be serving two years. But upon completion of your Veterans Court program, it wipes your slate clean. The VA is involved, the DA is on board. Everybody is in in your corner. They're like, ‘well, we think you need to program, so we're going to put you in Freedom House. You’re gonna go through a 30 day hardcore inpatient, go through all the counseling, talk to us seven days a week, live there.’ It gives you another opportunity. It's like ‘you messed up, get help, now get back on your feet.’
I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, MDD, which is major depressive disorder. Talk therapy helps out a lot. If you want actual real healing, mental healing, you have to talk about these things. I know they hurt. When I get home, I work out and then I play with my kids and we sit down and we play Roblox, we play video games, we do homework together, and I just enjoy my time at home. I didn't really have a good transition. So now I've got a better one.
When I started off this journey, I was homeless, living on the street, running from the police with 15 felonies. That's where I came from. Go in and admit you have a problem. The first step in all recovery and everything is to admit it. Talk to the VA, the VA has a thousand different resources. I gave my life over to the Veterans Treatment Court to say, ‘Hey, help me, please. I need this. I need to be better for them.’ I love my kids with everything I am, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be able to do this. I didn't get sober on my own. I had a group of people. They all got behind me and they all pushed me to get sober, and that's how you do it.