Veterans on Healing After Military Sexual Trauma
Unfortunately, I suffered from military sexual trauma, and that's played a huge aspect in the rest of my life. And I was attacked by a platoon sergeant, assaulted both physically and sexually. I was scared, man.
It took a while for the memory to start popping back. This is someone that you would look up to. This is a person in authority and in a job that is so honorable that you don't even question. After that, I was a different person, not addressing it at all, because I couldn't.
I didn't even think about telling nobody. It wasn't even, it wasn't even a thought at the time, or it wasn't even an option at the time. I was just trying to figure out how to deal with these feelings.
It started to get harder and harder to be around people. Every new trauma, like, would just wreck me, like, all the way back to the beginning. I realized that, the problem with me all along was what was going on inside of me, how I felt about stuff, and I had to figure out a way, to do something with this stuff. That's what I was trying to figure out all the time, and I found out that I had to talk about it.
Talking to somebody who is professionally trained to kind of help understand more is great. I really started to feel comfortable with, "Okay, it happened. We're fixing it. I can start to move on from this."
Try to talk to somebody and be honest about how you're feeling, because it's like, "This is my life and I'm worth being happy. I'm worth having peace. I'm worth having joy."
One of the, probably the biggest milestone is when I sat down with her and went over the whole incident. That was a pretty big thing for me.
If I'm hurting, that means I still have more work to heal. Doesn't mean that I'm not where I need to be. It means that right now, this is what needs to be addressed. I deserve to be at peace.
I got my life back. Find your voice and say something to help you get it off your chest and get the secret out there so you're not holding that in.
When I started doing therapy, it was like releasing the toxins, releasing the buildup of the fear or the rage or the overwhelming feelings of shame. I am worthy of love and protection and safety. It's been transformative for sure.
We do have the power and the right to wake up the next day and try to do something different.
We have to find someone that can hear us, encourage us and send us back out into the world to fight another day.
