Veteran on Maintaining Sobriety: “I get better by helping others.”
Until I got into recovery in November of 1985, I was not the kind of person that you could have a relationship with. I didn't really have any close relationships with people at all.
Allen. United States Marine Corps. 6113. 1979 to 1983. I joined the Marine Corps because I never really ever felt like I belonged anywhere. Initially, I was what is considered a first mechanic, so I worked under a crew chief. My crew chief, he got killed in a practice training exercise in the United States. He was kind of the first person I really felt like I connected with. After Keith was killed, my drinking kind of increased and actually started to become a problem.
Near the end of my enlistment, I wasn't functioning at a hundred percent. I wasn't well. I needed help. I didn't know I needed help. I don't think anybody else knew that I needed help. I could kind of cover up the drinking aspect, but the daily function was obviously a problem. Just like going into the Marine Corps, getting out of the Marine Corps was me getting away from something. But everywhere I went, there I was. Once I got home, all my problems were still with me. I had like five DUIs by the time I was 25 years old. I used methamphetamines for a couple years. I primarily used that because I could drink more. Of course, I was young. You know, I was 23 to 25. There were a lot of accidents, but there was one serious accident. Under the influence while driving, I wrecked my car, went to jail, fractured some vertebraes in my back, did a lot of damage to my body.
One day I went to visit my parents and my mother asked me if I had seen a friend of mine who had just got out of a treatment center. He told me that he couldn't help me. He said, "I can barely stay sober myself." Suggested that I go get some help. I went to this treatment center, spent 30 days there, and from the first day I got there, I was changed. I heard 'em talk about what they called pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization, and the first time I heard those words, it was the first time I heard anybody say how I felt, and then they told me that they could help me. I've been sober ever since.
One of the greatest tools I have is to pause and not reacting to situations has been a good thing and connecting with people. The treatment of the depression was almost immediate. First started taking the medications, it took a while for them to kick in, and once they kicked in, I felt a lot calmer. It requires a lot of hard work and dedication. Every bit of therapy I've been in was helpful in one way or another. You're worth the work. It's hard work. It's not easy work. I met my wife in sobriety. She's 33 years sober, so if it wasn't for my found sobriety, I would never have found her. We just lived an amazing life. You know, we both supported each other and worked into retirement.
I spend a lot of time outdoors. That's just my place. I mean, I've figured out where my place is. That's just a good place to be. It's hard for us. It's hard for us to reach out. I'm gonna be there when somebody reaches out. I never turn down the opportunity to help. I get better by helping others. The keys to maintaining my sobriety and good sobriety is just helping the next person. If this helped one person, good enough.
