Marine Discusses Journey to Rehabilitation and the Importance of Putting Recovery First
The way that I succeeded while I was in the service was having a mentor and so in my recovery, I have a mentor and this mentor is my sponsor. It was easier to trudge the walk of recovery alongside other Veterans.
Hi, my name's Hector. I served in the United States Marine Corps from 1998 to 2011 and I was an administrator.
Initially, I deployed with First Med Battalion out of Camp Pendleton. Serving during "Don't ask, don't tell" had its challenges. I enlisted relatively young. I had a good idea about who I was but I was willing to sacrifice some of my identity to ensure that I'd be able to serve my country. I got out early because I had a relationship with somebody of the same sex who was using our relationship to extort me and blackmail me. That had to be one of the most difficult experiences and decisions that I ever had to make.
The things that I experienced in my deployment didn't really start hitting me until I got out of the service. Self-medicating with substances. I was 33 years old, I had never partied like other people partied but my body reacted to harder drugs like crystal meth, amphetamine and cocaine in a way that I just had no control over and I was certain that I was gonna live and die this way. I used every single day, even when I didn't want to use. Before long, the party turned into a dependency super fast for me. I got into some trouble, you know? Some possession charges. My tickets had turned into bench warrants and my bench warrants had turned into arrest warrants. It was August 27th of 2016 that I called my mother and I asked her to pick me up and my journey to rehabilitation started.
The VA enrolled me in outpatient. I did a three-month intensive outpatient program before I got into a long-term treatment facility for Veterans. Being in an inpatient program gave me the structure and a pathway to success. I was told that if I put my recovery first, that everything else would fall into place and that's certainly what's been my experience. But I had to stop the bleeding before I could start treating the other wounds. The urge to use passes.
So my diagnoses are substance abuse disorder, complex PTSD, chronic depression. CBT, Cognitive Behavior Therapy has helped me understand that sometimes my feelings and my reactions don't quite align. It's basically like an equation, right? I look at facts and I look at my feelings, my reaction to a situation and I'm able to adjust my reaction. I would recommend it to any Veteran.
I spend a lot of time with Luna, my dog and we go on a walk. I journal every single day. The life that I live today is a life and an existence beyond my wildest dreams. I am at peace with myself. So now that I'm clean, some of the things that I've been able to accomplish is I was honored at a Wall of Honor for LGBTQ. I'm a gay service member and I served honorably. My community is acknowledging the service that I do. I like to give back to the Veteran homeless communities because I was there. Give the VA a chance. I feel like I'm able to take care of myself more than anything because of the tools and the opportunities that the VA has given me.
The ultimate weapon towards addiction is the addict in recovery. You can do it.
