Veterans Share How Treatment Strengthened Their Family Ties
4-minute read
Veterans Share How Treatment Strengthened Their Family Ties
4-minute read
Social withdrawal, isolation, and other symptoms of mental health conditions can put distance between Veterans and the family members they love. But as Veterans like Brandon, Stanita, and Brian discovered, mental health treatment provides opportunities for Veterans to rebuild and strengthen their family relationships.
Brandon: Coping with loss and reconnecting
Serving as a combat medic for the U.S. Army in Iraq, Brandon rushed to the side of a soldier just shot in the head by a sniper. Brandon knew him well. “When you have to tell your best friend, ‘I’m here, you’re fine. You can rest,’ when you know he’s never going to open his eyes again, there’s no way for that not to change you,” he says.
Brandon tended to many severely injured soldiers during his years in combat, often ones he knew. While he’s proud of the many lives he saved, the experiences took a toll. Brandon himself sustained serious injuries but adds: “None of the physical wounds that I’ve dealt with have been anywhere close to what I’ve dealt with with my mind.”
When Brandon retired after 17 years of service, he found it hard to adjust. “The one thing that I've identified in every Veteran that’s on a dark road is isolation,” he says. “Mine got so bad that when I retired, I lived in a FEMA trailer. Eventually I would get a phone call from my mother that said, ‘Either you call me back or I’m calling the sheriff's department to do a welfare check.’”
Through treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), traumatic brain injury (TBI), and other mental health conditions, Brandon found his way to a fuller life and meaningful connections with his family. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) helped, but so did many other therapies. “As a collective, they all helped me in some way,” he says.
Now married, Brandon finds comfort and support in family. When his wife broke her ankle and he needed to push her in a wheelchair, he considered it a symbolic role reversal. “She’s the one pushing my hypothetical wheelchair almost all the time, just by supporting me. She’s kept my wheelchair going. And I was honored to push her,” he says.
Stanita: Learning to ask for help
Stanita served in the U.S. Navy for 20 years, retiring as a chief Navy counselor, but says she sometimes endured hardship because she was often the only woman among men. “The harassment, the comments mentally, I had to shut myself down,” she says. “I did not seek the help that I needed.” It resulted in her social withdrawal and isolation.
“Before I sought mental health assistance, I did not want to interact with others in any way, and I didn’t like what I saw in myself,” Stanita says. Symptoms from her undiagnosed mental health conditions also affected her marriage.
Her mental health improved after she began receiving treatment for PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Through therapy, she learned how to calm herself and become a better communicator and listener. She also learned not to be afraid to say when she needs help. “I've learned so many things to be honest, and I actually utilize every technique that I have been taught,” she says.
Stanita's recovery is bolstered by the support of her family. She says that having her mother, a breast cancer survivor, by her side is especially meaningful.
Brian: Making up for lost time
Brian often tended to wounded Afghan children while on his U.S. Army deployment to Afghanistan. Back home after 4 years of service, he would relive trauma from that time whenever he heard a child cry. “This really broke my heart because I lost a lot of time with my nephew,” he says.
His marriage fell apart while he was deployed, and when injuries forced him to end his service, Brian says he channeled his emotional responses into anger. He also misused opioids, drank heavily, and missed work often.
“My mom, she asked me to go and speak with somebody, and she was like on the verge of tears about it,” he says. His first therapy session gave him hope, and his ongoing progress through treatment for PTSD and substance misuse showed him a path forward.
“Instead of just like one moment of clarity, it’s like walking out of this haze,” he says. “The longer it goes, the more good you see in your life and how truly full that it is.” Now he has much better relationships with family and friends, he says. And he’s able to spend a lot of time with his nieces and nephews.
“You’re gonna go hills and valleys,” he says, “but as long as you’re moving in the right direction, it’s worth it.”
