Women Veterans Find Help and a New Sisterhood
4-minute read
Women Veterans Find Help and a New Sisterhood
4-minute read
What’s it like to be a woman Veteran seeking mental health care from VA? No doubt that experience has evolved over the years. Veterans Kelley, Jess, and Lynette relate what motivated them to seek care from VA, what their experiences have been, and what they want other women Veterans to know.
Kelley: “We’ve made so many strides”
Kelley felt physically ill as she neared the end of 6 years of Air Force service in 2003. One cause was the stress that had built up within her from her experiences serving in male-dominated military roles. The other source was physical: fibroids in her uterus.
Kelley became addicted to the medication she was taking for her fibroid pain. When she tried to stop, she experienced major withdrawal symptoms, leading her to seek help from VA that enabled her to get her life back on track.
Although she got the help she needed at the time, she believes VA’s support for women Veterans’ health concerns has gotten much better since then. “The first few years, I had male doctors. There wasn’t even a women’s clinic at that point. And we’ve made so many strides since then,” Kelley says.
Now every VA facility has a Women Veterans Program Manager and mental health experts—psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, nurses, and peer specialists—who specialize in care for women Veterans. That includes care for military sexual trauma (MST) and reproductive mental health challenges related to menstrual cycles, pregnancy, and menopause.
“We have different challenges physically and mentally,” Kelley says. “But when I go into the women’s clinic, I’m there because I’m a woman Veteran and they treat me as such. To walk in somewhere where you feel comfortable with other people who have similar experiences, just because they are women, it takes a lot of that anxiety and anxiousness away about what’s going to happen.”
Jess: “When I needed help, I wasn’t shamed”
Jess, who joined the U.S. Army in 2012 to give back to her country, retains positive feelings about her 4 years of service. But she also carries the weight of being sexually assaulted by another service member in her first year. She tried to shoulder that weight by herself for years, even after she left the Army.
“After service, before I got mental health help, I was just tired,” Jess says. “I felt like I could finally breathe, but I also felt like I didn't have enough energy to even take care of myself. I would drink a lot. I would smoke. I would just do reckless things and just each of my vices led me down to a dead end.”
Jess came to realize she couldn’t manage the effects of MST on her own—and shouldn’t have to. “I was reminded that I am entitled to those benefits. I’m not a burden, and that's what the VA is there for,” she says. “I put my pride aside and I made an appointment.”
“When I needed help, I wasn’t shamed,” she adds. “I was able to get the mental health treatment that I needed. I felt like that really helped me just get out of my own way and become a successful person, become a happy person.”
Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) taught her how to avoid reacting to past trauma with destructive behaviors. Connections with other women Veterans through therapy and activities helped too. Now Jess encourages other women Veterans to try VA, especially through its women’s clinics.
“The sisterhood that you didn’t have while in service, you can find that as a Veteran,” she advises. “We’re all cheering everybody on. Everybody has a seat at the table, and we’re stronger together than we are apart.”
Lynette: “They can find a great fit for you”
When Lynette completed her U.S. Army service in 2003, she didn’t believe in mental health treatment, thinking of it as something that only “crazy people” needed. The Veteran didn’t consider whether she needed support even when she started avoiding crowded spaces and being around lots of people. For a while, she even stopped going to the grocery store.
“I was one of those people that didn’t go and get help for many years,” Lynette says. “I isolated myself and pushed away my loved ones, my family, and my friends.”
When Lynette did seek mental health care through VA, she discovered its value as she received treatment for PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Therapies like CBT and cognitive processing therapy (CPT) gave her ways to manage her conditions, the effects of MST, and suicidal thoughts. “Therapy has literally saved my life,” she says.
It also empowered her to reestablish and strengthen her family relationships.
“My wife especially, she’s my person, so she is always there for me whenever I'm struggling. We have a very strong communication in our relationship,” Lynette says. “It [also] really opened up the lines of communication with my son, so that we’re able to have those conversations that are usually really difficult to have.”
“I think that it’s extremely important for all Veterans that are struggling with mental health to go and seek treatment,” says Lynette, whose work now connects her with other women Veterans who have experienced MST. “There are many different modalities out there, so many different options, that they can find a great fit for you.”
