Jarvie never expected to be in this position after serving with the Marine Corps in Iraq: sitting in a courtroom as a defendant and a Veteran, having to explain the aggravated assault charge that had brought him there. What would he tell the judge? What would come next?

That moment turned Jarvie’s life in a better direction. To understand how, it may help to understand what brought him to that moment in the first place.

Challenges in Fallujah and at home

Deploying to Fallujah at age 19 was hard, Jarvie says. Eager to serve, he often volunteered for off-base assignments. One day, he found himself inside a Quonset hut that had been set up as a surgical clinic.

“It was the most chaotic environment I’ve ever seen,” Jarvie says. “It really showcased that that war doesn’t discern between man, woman, or child. It doesn’t care. That stuck with me for a long time. Still does.”

His transition to civilian life after 4 years of service also proved to be rough.

“I came back home lost,” he explains. “I was confused. I felt like I didn’t fit in. I didn’t know anybody, and I was angry. I wasn’t with my Marines. I couldn’t separate myself from that and be entirely with my family.”

“I was lonely, but I had made myself lonely,” he adds. “I had pulled myself away from whatever family or friends or anybody that wanted to be around me and then was pissed off that I was alone.”

A turning point in the courtroom

Angry, volatile, and drinking heavily, Jarvie got into trouble. Charged with aggravated assault, he found himself in court trying to explain his actions.

Jarvie recounts the moment: “It was an extremely humbling experience for me to sit in a courtroom and tell the judge, ‘Yes, I did these things, but I’m not a bad person.’”

The experience led him to treatment, which he says taught him how to separate emotion and logic and react more appropriately to real-world challenges. “That emotional and logical distance situationally has saved me countless, countless times,” he says.

Advice for other Veterans

Jarvie says there are things he wants other Veterans to know about getting treatment and support that may help them with their own challenges. Among them:

• Accept the need for help. “It’s okay to not be okay … While it’s hard to admit that we’re broken, find the resources. There are countless resources out there.”

• Be patient and practice. “It’s a long process. So for anybody that is considering or is actively participating in any of these therapies, please stick with it. Far too many people—they go home and they don’t practice what they’ve been taught.”

• Connect with other Veterans. “The one thing that has helped me out the most is finding like-minded individuals, somebody who has experienced what I’ve experienced. And whether they’re on my same path or an adjacent path, I can have those open conversations.”

By following this path, Jarvie has reconnected. “The biggest thing that makes me look back and say, ‘You did it,’ is when I see my kids,” he says. “They’ve got a happy childhood. They've got a dad that’s present that’s there to take care of them. That’s my proudest moment.”